8Bit/Digi

He Sounds Like a Real Dic…tator

Shadows of the Damned is a game from 2011 about love, dick jokes, and shooting demons, so it makes sense that the Hella Remastered version keeps all of that intact so people can enjoy this type of edgy humor and sex appeal on updated hardware. I wanted to review this game because I missed the initial release, but I always had the desire to play it as a part of my infinite backlog. I can’t compare it much to the original, but from what I’ve read, it dials back to that era of gaming perfectly, warts and all.

On paper, something like Shadows of the Damned should have been a huge hit. The talents of Resident Evil’s Shinji Mikami, Suda51 of No More Heroes fame, and Silent Hill’s famous composer, Akira Yamaoka join forces for what should have been an instant cult classic, but then there is the EA of it all. Maybe I was expecting too much, I thought the weirdness would shine through more. It does in select moments, but not to the same level as other titles these powerhouses have worked on. Players received an action game with hints of horror when it seemed they originally wanted to make that in reverse.

Taste my Big Boner!

We take control of Garcia Hotspur, a badass demon hunter complete with a rock star biker jacket, tattoos, and fiery temper. He’s a Mexican main character done well, choosing not to lean into the easy stereotypes and sharing more of his personality and insecurities over time. Hotspur is passionate about his girl, Paula, who has been kidnapped and taken to Hell, pushed down into Fleming’s shadowy crotch, the dictator of the underworld. That’s the premise, kill the bad guy, save the girl, be badass. It might have been watered down from the original concept, but the game kept some of its punk vibes, with a cloak of heavy metal and titties.

Shadows of the Damned started as a different beast altogether. It sounds like EA went into business with the developers based on their reputation, not what they wanted to create. The company kept telling Suda to change it, as the project went through multiple drafts. These decisions caused him to change the characters drastically, he was forced to add guns, and after all of EA’s notes what was left was directed by another man, Massimo Guarini, and was greatly different. It’s hard to say the game would have been better without interference, but easy to think it would have been more interesting and memorable. The troubled development affected both of the main creators, but they would each go on to incorporate ideas, mechanics, and unused models into parts of their later games, while Suda saw his original creation come to life more accurately in a manga titled Kurayami Dance: Dance in the Dark.

These Demon Pubes Are Blocking the Door!

The gameplay customers ended up with is the standard third-person over-the-shoulder shooter of the time. It feels somewhat arcade-inspired at times, almost House of the Dead style, where the tension comes from Garcia moving slowly while aiming, attempting to make careful shots with multiple enemies jumping around, some requiring special shots to make them vulnerable. Then this darkness acts as an encroaching fog, making enemies invincible and hurting Hotspur until certain objects are destroyed or goat heads get shot (it’ll make sense in the game, I promise). The demons feel never-ending at times and the darkness gets annoying especially when missing a target means dealing with another round of inky black. The big melee swings leave Hotspur open to attacks, but one-shotting an enemy with that or getting those headshots is so satisfying for a while. Combat has a shaky flow, but it can often be interrupted by improper collision and a sporadically spinning camera that can’t always handle melee animations. Boss fights are mostly fine, just different enough, but they aren’t anything special and one had an annoying mechanic (especially with my poor vision) while another simply lasted too long, leaving me bleeding ammo.

The game has some variety, not just in the enemies and environments, but in the gameplay as well. There are some 2D side-scrolling sections and even a partial SHMUP (shoot ‘em up) style boss as well as The Big Boner section that’s similar to a shooting gallery. Just when things start to get somewhat boring, the game changes enough to reset our expectations. The game runs between 8-10 hours, with a couple of sections feeling jarringly short, but the variety, length, and feeling of progression keep the game from ever overstaying its welcome.

This adventure is a journey through Hell with fairy tale and gothic aesthetics, taking the character through dingy streets, old libraries, creeping forests, dark farmsteads, and even some sewers, making the underworld feel used and soaked in death as Hotspur invades their homes. It’s putrid but personable. The remaster updates the visuals, but only so much. Some of the textures are still rough and though the colors pop – as seen in Hell’s Red Light District – many instances of this are blurry and kind of smeared. I kept cleaning my glasses during the stream, thinking the problem was on my end. Some of the actual animations are wonderful, mostly with the guns, reloading, and enemy deaths.

Yamaoka’s score is so solid, but it’s often drowned out by the gunfire and quips. I doubt this is one people will remember clearly, as it has moments of excellence, but just doesn’t stand out. That’s a shame, because there are some intriguing tracks in certain sections, helping to make Hell feel even more otherworldly. Some tones certainly let us know this man did Silent Hill, and much like that game, Shadows of the Damned assaults the ears with noise and stays loud for most of the run. The voice acting shines here, but especially with Steve Blum as our main character. That dude rocks.

Well, That Killed my Stiffy

So with a story that’s essentially demons and hunters comparing dick sizes, it seems obvious that the writing is quite macho, full of teenage libido, and somewhat misogynistic. Hotspur’s companion, weapon, and sometimes motorcycle is called Johnson, his pistol form is the Boner, and even the checkpoints are through a demon named One-Eye Willy dropping a shit to mark where the player has been. One of the best examples is probably Paula, who gets little time to just be herself in the game and is relegated to a lingerie-clad damsel when Hotspur isn’t walking over her giant topless body and using her breasts to reach the next platform. I know the term ‘male gaze’ has become a red flag for some, but this game might be a shining example of the original concept. Some of the suggestive portal placements and animations that purposefully make our protagonist look like he’s jerking off are eye-roll worthy. Combine those with the previously mentioned sexually tense displays, and it’s like a testosterone injection to remind us we all have genitals.

Most of the jokes are crass, there is a bunch of dialogue about penetration, endowment, thrusting, and innuendo mixed in with all of the dick jokes and puns. Most of these are here to groan at, but I did chuckle at a few and know a couple of others would have hit, were they not so frequent. 

Maybe you’re supposed to have your genitals out while playing Shadows of the Damned. 

There are a few well-done exchanges, the relationship between Hotspur and Johnson can almost be charming, but just give it a second, and one of them will try too hard or yell something stupid. There are also these books that one of the characters will read out loud when clicked on. These stories give some of the best background for the bosses and help set that twisted fairytale tone while showing that Suda was somewhat inspired by Kafka originally. Most of these bits take it to the extreme though, either leaning into suicide, mutilation, or details about orally pleasuring women for that extra flavor that takes away from some of the more interesting parts. I wouldn’t even say most of this stuff is offensive, just overused and a bit out of place. It makes sense for a character like Hotspur to embrace this vision of Hell, but it needed to be woven in better. There’s no room for subtlety in Hell. 

For those like me who missed Shadows of the Damned, playing this version might be worth it. From what I hear the controls are much better and they added some costumes as well as a New Game+ mode, so delight in that 60fps goodness and enjoy the ride, or just laugh at it. For some fans, this Hella Remastered version will be like a polished unholy relic, for others, it’ll be closer to that shit we use to save the game, but many may still find the experience interesting enough.

Disclaimer: The publisher through a PR representative provided the game used for this review.

This review is the critique and thoughts of one writer. If you want to see how other critics felt then check it out on OpenCritic.

8Bit/Digi is an independent media outlet that provides insight into the gamer community of the San Francisco Bay Area.

Shadows of the Damned: Hella Remastered

7

Good

7.0/10

Pros

• A short adventure where progression feels substantial.
• Varied types of gameplay.
• Excellent environments, colors, and animations.

Cons

• Visuals can seem blurry or smeared, especially certain textures.
• Some main mechanics can feel tedious or annoying.
• Sub-par writing and repetitive lines.